Premarital sex is a problem which is much discussed in modern
society. Many young people would like to know the opinion regarding this
sensitive issue. Some religionists say it can be considered as
committing adultery, while others say it is immoral and unjustifiable.
In the past, young boys and girls were not allowed by their
parents to move around freely until they were married. Their marriages
were also arranged and organized by the parents. Of course, this did
cause unhappiness in some cases when parents chose partners on the basis
of money, social status, family obligations and related issues. But
generally, the majority of parents did try very hard to choose partners
who would be acceptable to their children.
Today, young people are at the liberty to go out and find their
own partners. They have a lot of freedom and independence in their
lives. This is not a bad thing in itself, but some of these people are
just too young and too immature to see the difference between sexual
attraction and true compatibility. That is why the problem of
pre-marital sex arises.
Too much laxity in matters concerning sex has also given rise to
social problems in modern society. The sad part is that some societies
do not express liberal attitudes towards unmarried mothers, illegitimate
children and the divorcees while they are quite liberal about free sex.
As a result, young people are being punished by the same society which
encourages free mixing of the sexes. They become social outcasts and
suffer much shame and humiliation. Many young girls have become victims
of their own freedom and have ruined their future by violating age-old
traditions which were valued in the east as well as in the west.
Pre-marital sex is a modern development which has come about as a
result of excessive social freedom prevalent amongst present day young
people. Whilst Buddhism holds no strong views either for or against such
action, it is thought that all Buddhists, particularly people of both
sexes in love and contemplating marriage, should adhere to the age-old
traditional concept that they maintain chastity until the nuptial date.
The human mind is unstable and forever changing, with the result that
any illicit action or indiscretion may cause undue harm to either party
if the legal marriage does not take place as expected. It must be
remembered that any form of sexual indulgence before a proper marriage
is solemnized will be looked down upon by the elders who are the
guardians of the young people.
Laymen are advised in the Buddha's Teaching to avoid sexual
misconduct. That means, if one wants to experience sex, he must do so
without creating any violence or by using any kind of force, threat or
causing fear. A decent sex life which respects the other partner is not
against this religion; it accepts the fact that it is a necessity for
those who are not yet ready to renounce the worldly life.
According to Buddhism, those who are involved in extra-marital
sex with someone who is already married, who has been betrothed to
someone else, and also with those who are under the protection of their
parents or guardians are said to be guilty of sexual misconduct, because
there is a rupture of social norms, where a third party is being made
to suffer as a result of the selfishness of one or the other partner.
The Buddha also mentioned the consequences that an elderly man
would have to face if he married without considering the compatibility
of age of the other party. According to the Buddha, irresponsible sexual
behavior can become the cause of one's downfall in many aspects of
life.
All the nations of the world have clearly defined laws concerning
the abuse of sex. Here again, Buddhism advocates that a person must
respect and obey the law of the country if the laws are made for the
common good.
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